Ba-dum-tss.

My eye’s swelled up again, same reason, different area. And yes, I can feel something in there.

Good thing is, this time round I probably won’t have to make that trip down to the hospital. Reason being my dear Dad just made it better. He made it better. Shall not go into details what he did but it was less pain, same amount of nerves and it’s already not as painful as it was 15 minutes ago. No surgery, nothing.

You know, I trust my Dad with my eye ten folds more than I trust that one doctor. I know for sure, no matter what, he’d try his best to make sure I was in the least amount of pain possible. You know what I mean, right?

At the moment, I’m typing this with only my right eye open while on my desk, lay a napkin with traces of blood and pus. 

This afternoon while walking to the bus stop after school, I prayed that my eye would instantaneously be alright. This isn’t instantaneous, but I’m pretty sure it’s…

Don’t you just love 9Gag? Don’t I just love my Dad? Yes, and hell yeah.

Will update again soon, stay beautiful <3

Formspring me!

As the title reads, Formspring me!

I’m not new to Formspring, I’ve actually had an account for over a year but I left it to die at some point. Decided to get back on there so you guys can ask me questions. If you have any. I’ll try my best to answer as much as I can, but at the same time, I’m not obliged to do so. Especially if I find a question too personal. You may try asking anyways, hahah.

Having mentioned that, you should also know I’m extremely inactive on Facebook. So if I’m not replying Facebook messages, I’m terribly sorry! But if anything, I’m almost always on Twitter. Eunicekelly13, just send me a follow request (:

Thicker than blood.

This is possibly the only picture where I think I still look decent though I’m showing my teeth while smiling. My webcam must be feeling pretty nice today.

(My hair is in a bun.)

Hey sweet dumplings, how’ve you been? Good I hope. Better take care of yourselves, the weather’s a mad killer on the loose. Especially in the afternoon – tak boleh tahan. (Malay for “cannot take it”.) But on the extremely bright (and super hot) side, I guess we can start frying our eggs on the roads.

So I’m back to school and I had a lot of work to catch up with. A heck of a lot. Math was a total bummer, I got stuck at every question and ended up crying because, like I’ve said before, I suck at putting up with stress. You know how demoralising that feels, trying and trying over again but it’s just not right and you don’t know why? That was how I felt about Math :/

DNT was, and is, hard to catch up too but at least now I can do my Math so that’s 1 less thing to worry about. Thank God for great friends who patiently taught me what’s supposedly super simple, really. If not for them, I don’t know what I’d be right now. (Probably still stuck at Math.)

Went back to school today with 8 other classmates and we did Math together in the canteen. It was both productive and fun. Guess my future Saturday mornings to noon are booked! It’s nice to know we’re so bonded. Sure, we chatted and snacked and had occasional Temple Run breaks, but hey, we got our work done. Also, in no way was this compulsory for us.

Left shortly after noon for lunch. Afterwards I went to get myself some reads at White Sands library before heading home.

Shall read a chapter or 2 now. Bye!

Recovery.

Happy Monday to all of you.

Just woke up not long ago. Thought I’d update a little before I get back to completing my Math.

Glad I’m on the road to recovery now, I’m back to eating proper meals and I don’t lay in bed all day. Trust me, with almost half your face hurting, you won’t have much of an appetite and all you want to do is sleep because that’s the only time you don’t feel the pain.

Also, I can bid my frequent fever and headaches goodbye. The doctor from the clinic said I was getting them because of all the pressure in my eye.

I can still the tiny lump by the side of my eye where the dead skin is. (Ewwww.) But it will be gone in a matter of days so I’m counting on that.

That’s about all I’ve got to update about my eye, bye! My homework’s not going to do itself you know?

XOXO

No one can hurt me now.

I don’t have a reason to believe. And fortunately, I no longer need one.

[Continuation.]

It’s funny how you can talk to me as if nothing happened. Like I didn’t cry my lungs out. That was a dagger straight to the heart. How could you, am I nothing?

I don’t feel like talking to you right now. After what you said, please don’t expect me to feel fine about it. This isn’t disrespect, this isn’t me being rebellious, this is me being hurt.

I know I am just a teenager, but I think I act better than one. At least better than you. And you’re no teenager, you don’t have that excuse. Even then, in any given situation, I wouldn’t use being a teenager an excuse.

I don’t bother trying anymore, I won’t. In my eyes, it just won’t work out. It never will. Anyone with the hopes to change that can give up now.

Living nightmare.

Today’s surgery hurt like ___________. (It hurt so bad only a profanity is capable of describing the level of pain I was going through. And even so, I still believe it’s an understatement.)

Let me state once again, I have zero tolerance for physical pain. But this time, I felt slightly more mentally prepared thinking this surgery would be just like the one I had last month, on the 13th.

I WAS WRONG.

So, before I begin I guess I should explain why I even required surgery in the first place.

The surgery last month? That was to get rid of a pimple in my eye lid. The surgery today was to get rid of 2 pimples. (I had 3 actually but one “popped” before the surgery. Yay?)

Today’s surgery was a living nightmare. It was hell. Okay, so this surgery is minor and pretty short thus, I was wide awake. Only anesthesia given, 2 jabs to the eye lid and I tried my best not to cry. I told myself, “Hey, this is the only part that’s going to hurt.”

WRONG.

I should’ve known, I should’ve known. Somehow, my eye wasn’t numb like I thought it would be. I thought, “Hey, maybe it’s taking a while to set in.” Fine. Or, “They injected a different part of my eye so perhaps I won’t feel the same numbness like I did last month.”

WRONG AGAIN.

You have no idea how bad I cried or how loud I screamed when the doctor made the cut in my eye lid and started digging the shit out of it. I kicked and kicked in pain, like a small girl in the middle of a nightmare.

I felt so bad for my Mum who stood there watching as I cried in the worst pain I’ve ever been in. Even right now as I’m typing this in bed, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

I NEVER want to go back there. Ever.

I don’t think I have phobias, so this must be number 1.

I need Fairy Godparents.

When I’m sick, or physically unwell, I make a lot of noise. A hell lot of noise.

But you know what? That’s just how I deal with it. I let it out, I whine. I don’t try to hold it in, what for? It only makes me hurt more. So you know what really irritates me? When people tell me I’m over-reacting.

All I do is whine and rant about how much pain I’m in. (I really am in extreme pain by the way.) It’s not like I’m creating mass havoc -_____- And I’m sorry I have zero tolerance for pain, I’ve never really been what’d you’d call a strong person.

Okay, just had to get that off my chest.

Another day of I-didn’t-attend-school, if only staying home was more productive. I spent most of the time sleeping because that’s the only time I don’t feel the left side of my face hurting. Yeah, the pain spread.

To be completely honest, right now I just cannot wait to have surgery done. Anything to end this pain. But at the same time, the thought of having needles in my eye makes me wince.

Completed some Math homework earlier on, with only my right eye open. At one point, I just couldn’t put up with the pain anymore, closed my books and went to my room. Curled up in a ball on my bed, I cried. But even then, the tears only made my eye hurt more.

Looking forward to after the surgery. Bye.